Ryan and Juliet

Recently there have been so many adorable moments when Ryan and Juliet  are put near each other.  They instantly reach out for the other person’s hand or face or foot.   Ryan burped and Juliet laughed and giggled and thought it was the funniest thing ever.  They hold hands and sometimes accommodate the other by providing a finger or foot to suck on.  What a treat!  When Juliet is sad I can put her near Ryan and she cheers right up (and vice versa).  There is clearly a very strong bond between them.   As strong as that bond is, however, I don’t think its going to stifle any sibling rivalry.  Yesterday they were both on my lap and began to fight (in baby lingo that is) over a book between them.  It was cute to see.  Again and again I find myself so excited for what’s to come, but trying so hard to hold on to today.  Well, maybe not today actually, Juliet isn’t feeling well.  My poor baby girl.

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Click here to watch a video of Juliet & Ryan

Chistmas day held all the magic, love and cheer that we could hope for.  The babies were surrounded by colors and toys.  They were held, cuddled and loved all day long.  Grammee Marge (aka Grammee Phalanges), Grampa Tom and Uncie Drewbie came on Christmas Day to avoid bad weather the following day and to provide some adult company for the mommy and the daddy.  They did more than that, however.  Their visit was so wonderful and brought so much fun and laughter into our house.

My mommy and daddy were in Boston on Christmas Day with Aunt Heather, Uncle Jeff, Cousin Jake, and Baby Tic Tac (Tic Tac because that is the size of the baby right now).  Baby Tic Tac will reside in Aunt Heather’s belly until early August.  We are all so excited.

The Daddy’s 30th birthday was also celebrated by sleeping in and eating yummy food such as strawberry banana crepes, cookies (compliments of the Grand Ellie), wine, a home-made soup, and a delicious flourless chocolate cake.  He has officially crossed the border into the land of the 30s.  He shall have to start wearing lotion on his face to keep the wrinkles away and do grown up things like… what do grown up do?!  Anyway, he may not be as old and wise as the mommy but one day he will understand.

Click here to check out more pictures from Christmas Day and The Daddy’s birthday

Seriously, who ever coined that term clearly never had a baby.  For the past month and a half I have desperately been trying to get my babies on a schedule and in doing so, trying to get them to nap.  A true nap, in my book, is one that lasts at least 1 hr.  My babies, however, seem to prefer the 20 minute cat naps.

I should first probably explain how I rate my day.  It boils down to the following:

• Did the babies go poop?
• Did the babies finish their bottles?
• Did the babies nap 2x for at least 1hr each?
• How much did the babies cry?  This is often determined by how well we did on the first 3 bullets.

We’ve tackled the first two bullets and have those somewhat under control.  Next, it was time to work on the napping.

First I tried the swing for one baby and my arms for the other, switching back and forth so each baby got to sleep in my arms (this seemed to be the preferable method).  Aside from the extroadinary amount of boucing I had to do to get the baby in my arms to sleep, that worked pretty well.  That was, of course, until the baby in the swing woke up crying.   Remember the 4th bullet?  Keeping the crying level as low as possible?   Well, one baby crying is better than two.   So when the baby in the swing woke up, I had to put the baby in my arms down.  End result… two babies crying.  Oh, but I sooooo loved to have them fall asleep in my arms.  They were so precious and I cherished those moments.  I soon realized, though, that the lap-swing scenario wasn’t going to work.  Poo.

Around their 3 1/2 month mark I tried to put Juliet in her crib to let her cry it out.  This is known as the Ferber method.  I learned about this through my Dr. Spock book and thought I’d give it a try.  So I put her down like it said and left the room.  As soon as I left, Juliet cried and it became increasingly worse.  At the same time, I ran downstairs to see what the good ‘ol internet had to say about this.  The first article I came across was from the following babycenter.com post:  Are we damaging our baby by letting him cry himself to sleep?.  After reading that “when infants are left to cry themselves to sleep, they are forced to conclude that they are not lovable enough to engage their parents’ desires to comfort them” and “if they actually stop crying, it is because they have abandoned all hope that help will come”, I immediately ran and grabbed Juliet.  I decided I would not Ferberize them.

Next I tried putting each baby in their own swing.  This seemed very promising, but still I sat next to them singing and shushing until I too was crying and begging for it to end.  Once they finally did fall asleep in the swing, it lasted about 30 minutes.

I was giving up hope when Dan suggested putting them in the nursery where it’s dark.  The next day I tried that with Juliet and left with the monitor.  I left and prepared myself for screaming and wailing, but all was quiet.  I questioned whether or not the monitor was working, but it was.   And so she napped!  I was so encouraged and my hopes were restored.  The next day I tried with Ryan and again it worked!  I was delighted!

I thought I was home free.  Then about 4 days after using this new method it started to go downhill.  The crying would start as soon as I left the room.  I’d go back in to talk to them, and sing to them, and shush them but as soon as I left, the wailing would resume.  Yesterday I hit my nadir.  I was so exhausted and begged the nap gods to return to me.  I was at wits end and decided maybe I should just try the Ferber thing again and give them 10 minutes to cry.  I did.  Ryan cried for maybe a minute and was asleep.  Juliet cried for 3 minutes and was asleep.  I know this doesn’t sound like a lot of time, but its a lifetime when you’re listening on the other end of the monitor.  I forced my guilt aside and just waited it out.  It seemed to work.  They napped for 1 1/2 hrs for both naps.  That was today.

So maybe this Ferber guy wasn’t so evil as I originally thought.  On the other hand, I do believe the babycenter article is evil for playing on parents’ guilt that way.   As long as I have met my babies’ needs (tummies full, diaper clean, not sick) then I think I can only be helping them (and me) by letting them cry a little when the end result is sleep.  I clearly was not helping them by continuing to go in there to console and they just ended up crying more and we would all just get increasingly frustrated.

So, are you sleeping like a baby?  I hope not for your own sake!

Click here to see  some of the recent photo shoots I’ve subjected my babies to…

Countless times I prayed to Mary, mother of Jesus, to help me get pregnant when Dan and I were trying.  I prayed that she would intervene for us and help send us our baby.  Apparently she heard and sent us two!  Yay!  So this past Saturday our babies were baptized and I thanked Mary in my mind and in my heart for sending us our angels.

Father also spoke of how babies help to provide perspective in our material world and I have to say that hit home for me.  Recently, I have been surprised to find myself not really caring as much for the nice clothes I usually buy on a whim or the household items that I just have to have.  I guess this is what contentment feels like.  All I want are my babies and my husband and I have them!  Material things don’t include wine right?

And so the babies survived their first Thanksgiving, first overnight trip, first encounter with the entire Hatfield side of the family, and last but not least, their baptism.  You might say Dan and I just ripped the Band-Aid right off, but I think it was actually a bit more painful than that.  11 adults, 5 kids, and Ryan and Juliet were all together in one house to celebrate the holiday.  Surrounded by chaos, Dan and I scrambled to find a routine for the babies.  Looking back, that may have been part of our problem.  Even with my perpetual bouncing, naps were scarce especially for our little Jule.  She had things to do, people to see, and all new experiences to experience.  So that’s what she did for two days straight until finally she crashed and much to our amazement she seemed to crash happily!

However, reflection is a wonderful thing.  Now as I sit typing this, and am no longer immersed in the stressfulness of the situation, I realize a memory was made for my family and a nice one.

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Movie produced by Uncle Marcus