Ryan and Juliet

On our walks, I often hear people say, “Double trouble!” when we pass them by.  I smile and agree.  In truth, having twins is double the trouble, but there is also double to love.

There are the obvious quandaries with twins, like how to keep them from waking each other up in the middle of the night and during naps, and how to feed them at the same time when they’re both crying and hungry, and how to provide them with the love and attention that they both need and most certainly deserve.  Then there are the logistical problems to consider, like how to get two babies from the house to the car when you live in the city and the car is parked two blocks down and one block over (this may sound like a simple task, but I can’t even begin to tell you the hours I have spent thinking this over in my head).  There is the gift of patience, which each of us must work to improve upon and pray for more.  I think this is hardest for Ryan and Juliet because they don’t understand why mommy won’t pick them up when they’re crying. Unfortunately, there’s two of them and only one of me during the day hours, so one must wait while the other gets changed, or fed, or loved. Worst of all, there is the question of what to do when one baby gets sick and you want to protect their twin from catching it. Answer: impossible.

Ryan and Juliet came down with a cold a couple weeks ago.  It started out with Ryan having a runny nose.  Daddy came home that night and told Ryan not to worry and “we would get through this.”  I thought, well of course we’ll get through this!  It’s just a runny nose!  That night his runny nose turned into croup.  Oh God, I didn’t know what croup was before this, and I wish for that blessed ignorance back. Croup is awful. It means a fever, vomiting, coughing, and an inflamed larynx that makes breathing difficult. His voice became very hoarse and his cough sounded like a seal bark.  The breathing seemed the most difficult to bear and the harder he tried, the worse he got.  As a parent, your worst fear is that his larynx might become so swollen that breathing might become impossible. At the doctors suggestion, I brought him outside into the cool night air and held him.  He calmed down and the fresh air helped him to breath easier.  Eventually, I brought him indoors, opened the window in the babies’ room, and rocked him to sleep.

The next day our fears doubled when Juliet got a runny nose.  Dan stayed home from work that day, as he was sick too, and we took the babies to the doctor.  The doctor said “No more monkeys jumping on the bed,” he gave Ryan a steroid to help with the inflammation of his larynx, and lastly he said to hope for Juliet’s cold to remain just that.  The next night was easier for Ryan, but he still remained very sick throughout the week. And sure enough, Juliet started to show the same horrible croupy symptoms.  Because it was the weekend, I took her to the ER and they started her on a similar steroid.

Seven days and many sleepless nights later, we had two healthy babies again. They’re now back to smiling, and playing, and exploring their world full of wonders and beauty. For Ryan and Juliet, they will forget this ever happened.

As for me, I fear I might be perceived as being a bit over-reactive the next time one of them gets a runny nose and I rush them to the ER. I’ve heard it before, but now I understand “A mother’s love has no bounds”.

Ryan has toy

Juliet has toy

But sometimes they do play nice…

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Ryan and Juliet,

I was reading the Oprah magazine (yes, that’s right, but at least I wasn’t watching it and I WASN’T eating bon bons), and I came to a page titled “Live Your Best Life” with the following quote by William Henry Channing:

To live content with small means;
to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion;
to be worthy, not respectable;
and wealthy, not rich;
to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly…
to listen to stars and buds, to babes and sages, with open heart;
await occasions, hurry never…
this is my symphony.

I hope this inspires you.  I hope you see how beautiful life is.  I hope you live your best life.

I love you, mom

Ryan watching the snow fall

At six months…

Ryan can roll over but sometimes gets stuck on his stomach (much to his dismay when it happens in his crib at night).
Juliet can roll over but prefers not to.
Juliet can sit up without help from mom and dad.
They like to touch EVERYTHING.
They like to eat EVERYTHING.
The LOVE their feet.
They laugh and smile and it melts our hearts.
Juliet has finally graduated from 0-3 mo. socks, but no socks will actually stay on her feet.
Ryan is getting too big for 9 mo. old clothes.
Juliet likes to wake up anywhere from 1am – 4am.
Juliet will eat anything we put in her cereal.  So far we’ve added applesauce, bananas, butternut squash, and carrots.
Ryan is still trying to decide if he likes that weird mushy stuff we give him to eat.
Ryan’s reflux is still bothering him.
Ryan has blue-green eyes just like his dad.
Juliet’s eyes are brownish-greenish-gray, but we think they’re still changing.
They nap 2x a day, usually 1-2 hrs.  Yay!!!
No teeth yet.
Juliet eats 25-30 oz. of formula a day.
Ryan eats 30-35 oz. of formula a day.
Juliet does a wonderful Mariah Carey impression.
Ryan still has the saddest cry ever.
Juliet has a cry that makes mom’s heart palpitate.
Ryan is pretty content in his highchair.
Juliet is content in her highchair as long as we entertain her.
They get excited about books and want to eat the books (according to a pamphlet we have, this a 9 mo. mile stone and further proof to mom and dad that they are in fact geniuses).
They like to play with their spoons after eating and can put it right in their mouth.
Juliet likes to call family meetings and Ryan seconds everything she says.
They’re trying very hard to grow more hair.
And of course, they love to hold hands.

Recently there have been so many adorable moments when Ryan and Juliet  are put near each other.  They instantly reach out for the other person’s hand or face or foot.   Ryan burped and Juliet laughed and giggled and thought it was the funniest thing ever.  They hold hands and sometimes accommodate the other by providing a finger or foot to suck on.  What a treat!  When Juliet is sad I can put her near Ryan and she cheers right up (and vice versa).  There is clearly a very strong bond between them.   As strong as that bond is, however, I don’t think its going to stifle any sibling rivalry.  Yesterday they were both on my lap and began to fight (in baby lingo that is) over a book between them.  It was cute to see.  Again and again I find myself so excited for what’s to come, but trying so hard to hold on to today.  Well, maybe not today actually, Juliet isn’t feeling well.  My poor baby girl.

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Chistmas day held all the magic, love and cheer that we could hope for.  The babies were surrounded by colors and toys.  They were held, cuddled and loved all day long.  Grammee Marge (aka Grammee Phalanges), Grampa Tom and Uncie Drewbie came on Christmas Day to avoid bad weather the following day and to provide some adult company for the mommy and the daddy.  They did more than that, however.  Their visit was so wonderful and brought so much fun and laughter into our house.

My mommy and daddy were in Boston on Christmas Day with Aunt Heather, Uncle Jeff, Cousin Jake, and Baby Tic Tac (Tic Tac because that is the size of the baby right now).  Baby Tic Tac will reside in Aunt Heather’s belly until early August.  We are all so excited.

The Daddy’s 30th birthday was also celebrated by sleeping in and eating yummy food such as strawberry banana crepes, cookies (compliments of the Grand Ellie), wine, a home-made soup, and a delicious flourless chocolate cake.  He has officially crossed the border into the land of the 30s.  He shall have to start wearing lotion on his face to keep the wrinkles away and do grown up things like… what do grown up do?!  Anyway, he may not be as old and wise as the mommy but one day he will understand.

Click here to check out more pictures from Christmas Day and The Daddy’s birthday

Seriously, who ever coined that term clearly never had a baby.  For the past month and a half I have desperately been trying to get my babies on a schedule and in doing so, trying to get them to nap.  A true nap, in my book, is one that lasts at least 1 hr.  My babies, however, seem to prefer the 20 minute cat naps.

I should first probably explain how I rate my day.  It boils down to the following:

• Did the babies go poop?
• Did the babies finish their bottles?
• Did the babies nap 2x for at least 1hr each?
• How much did the babies cry?  This is often determined by how well we did on the first 3 bullets.

We’ve tackled the first two bullets and have those somewhat under control.  Next, it was time to work on the napping.

First I tried the swing for one baby and my arms for the other, switching back and forth so each baby got to sleep in my arms (this seemed to be the preferable method).  Aside from the extroadinary amount of boucing I had to do to get the baby in my arms to sleep, that worked pretty well.  That was, of course, until the baby in the swing woke up crying.   Remember the 4th bullet?  Keeping the crying level as low as possible?   Well, one baby crying is better than two.   So when the baby in the swing woke up, I had to put the baby in my arms down.  End result… two babies crying.  Oh, but I sooooo loved to have them fall asleep in my arms.  They were so precious and I cherished those moments.  I soon realized, though, that the lap-swing scenario wasn’t going to work.  Poo.

Around their 3 1/2 month mark I tried to put Juliet in her crib to let her cry it out.  This is known as the Ferber method.  I learned about this through my Dr. Spock book and thought I’d give it a try.  So I put her down like it said and left the room.  As soon as I left, Juliet cried and it became increasingly worse.  At the same time, I ran downstairs to see what the good ‘ol internet had to say about this.  The first article I came across was from the following babycenter.com post:  Are we damaging our baby by letting him cry himself to sleep?.  After reading that “when infants are left to cry themselves to sleep, they are forced to conclude that they are not lovable enough to engage their parents’ desires to comfort them” and “if they actually stop crying, it is because they have abandoned all hope that help will come”, I immediately ran and grabbed Juliet.  I decided I would not Ferberize them.

Next I tried putting each baby in their own swing.  This seemed very promising, but still I sat next to them singing and shushing until I too was crying and begging for it to end.  Once they finally did fall asleep in the swing, it lasted about 30 minutes.

I was giving up hope when Dan suggested putting them in the nursery where it’s dark.  The next day I tried that with Juliet and left with the monitor.  I left and prepared myself for screaming and wailing, but all was quiet.  I questioned whether or not the monitor was working, but it was.   And so she napped!  I was so encouraged and my hopes were restored.  The next day I tried with Ryan and again it worked!  I was delighted!

I thought I was home free.  Then about 4 days after using this new method it started to go downhill.  The crying would start as soon as I left the room.  I’d go back in to talk to them, and sing to them, and shush them but as soon as I left, the wailing would resume.  Yesterday I hit my nadir.  I was so exhausted and begged the nap gods to return to me.  I was at wits end and decided maybe I should just try the Ferber thing again and give them 10 minutes to cry.  I did.  Ryan cried for maybe a minute and was asleep.  Juliet cried for 3 minutes and was asleep.  I know this doesn’t sound like a lot of time, but its a lifetime when you’re listening on the other end of the monitor.  I forced my guilt aside and just waited it out.  It seemed to work.  They napped for 1 1/2 hrs for both naps.  That was today.

So maybe this Ferber guy wasn’t so evil as I originally thought.  On the other hand, I do believe the babycenter article is evil for playing on parents’ guilt that way.   As long as I have met my babies’ needs (tummies full, diaper clean, not sick) then I think I can only be helping them (and me) by letting them cry a little when the end result is sleep.  I clearly was not helping them by continuing to go in there to console and they just ended up crying more and we would all just get increasingly frustrated.

So, are you sleeping like a baby?  I hope not for your own sake!